A Little Tale Of Love; From One FAT Woman To Another By Chiamaka

When a representative of Bella Curves reached out to me to write for their blog, I was pleasantly surprised & happy. It is not often you find a Nigerian blog that supports the plus size community, even in the few times fat (please give me leeway to use this word, I have come to embrace it completely) women are mentioned in mass media we are usually presented as jokes or sexless. 

While I was excited to do this, I was also very anxious. I was faced with the issue of not knowing what to write about because the representative did not have set orders for me. So instead, I decided to do what mainstream media or beauty ideals have refused to do and CELEBRATE fat women. 

So this is to you, written for all the women who look like me. For all my fat women. I want to tell you guys I love you. You are beautiful, just the way you are. Even if you are (or trying to) lose weight now, I want you to know that you have the right to unapologetically love your body. And ignore anybody who says different. 

For all my apple shaped fat women, who are bigger on the top than the bottom. I want to tell you that even though you are not heralded as a “good kind of fat” by society, there is no such thing. We will face a much harder time trying to love our bodies because we receive virtually no representation from the media but I want to tell you that your body is glorious because it is unique to you.

For my fat women with small breasts & no ass, body shamers are going to come in different ways because disrespectful people will say stupid shit like “aren’t fat women supposed to at least have breasts & ass?”, or other things I’m not familiar with. And I want you to know that those people are very stupid

For all of you, there is nobody on the planet with the qualities you have! Embrace yourselves. Shine AND STUNT in the face of adversity! You deserve to be here just as much as anybody else. Focus on the good things your body has done & continues to do for you. I know that the negative things we feel about our bodies (let’s face it we all have our insecurities) will threaten to swallow us up & fill us with unhappiness. But please! Look in the mirror and enjoy yourself in this moment. Mainstream beauty ideals are trash because it is physically impossible for anyone to fit an idea of ‘perfection’ developed by irrelevant people. So let’s not try to. 

I do not want anyone else to go through life the way I did, feeling unwanted & hating themselves because of fat phobia. Most especially our younger loved ones. And fat phobia is a rancid disease that is rampant in Nigerian society, and has no signs of leaving to me. I want it to end. I’ve had people, even strangers, comment on my body all in the name of trying to help me, but these same people would hate if I stayed in their business. I am not letting this go unchecked anymore. I envision a world where fat women are encouraged to love themselves throughout life, and I will continue searching & fighting for that world till the end of my life. I love you all. 

Written By Chiamaka